Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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