if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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