The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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