It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
These tits shall not be calmed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
