I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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