There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
