i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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