i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
