I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
