I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
