just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
