Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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