Will you blow on my dice?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
