it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
