I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize