a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
