Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
