You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
