So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
