she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
