i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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