did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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