So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
