STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
