What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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