dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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