How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
