we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a hot homeless man
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
