I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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