ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
