Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
