hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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