Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
