My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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