My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
