yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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