Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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