The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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