I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
