are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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