i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
