Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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