so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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