3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im holly from the hills drunk
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
