mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
