i think i have herpe
just one?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
