summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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