I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
