So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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