I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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