Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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