just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
