i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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