I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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