I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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